I Am I Am, by Ruth Theodore

I Am I Am

by Ruth Theodore

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1.	Barbed Wire Fence 05:06 video	lyrics	buy track
The Itchen runs from Cheriton in to the big blue sea and I walk along from Avington in to Martyr Worthy And I’ve walked it all and in all its almost thirty miles in length and all the way along it runs a barbed wire fence Damson flies on either side racing round the river’s edge there are water holes for water voles among the water cress A flash of Kingfisher and look a Little Dipper there where the river bends in the clover just over the barbed wire fence ‘Cause stretches of this river bank are parceled up for rent you get a little wooden fishing hut and a little wooden bench And after VAT and your license fee you pay a small percent that goes towards the upkeep of the barbed wire fence Oh but buttercup yeah butter cup I’m coming up oh buttercup oh buttercup I’m coming up yeah buttercup yeah buttercup I’m coming up yeah buttercup oh buttercup I’m coming up ‘Cause the men that rent from the other men do not give their consent to outsiders and there’s a sign there to remind us at every 100 steps It says ‘the penalty incurred will be your personal expense in the event you should ascend the barbed wire fence’ But I am I am a marching band and I descend from coal miners and pearl divers and I learned from them If it’s a fishing line or a picket line when there’s something to defend you take no notice of the notice on the barbed wire fence So one day my girl and me we stumbled on to private land and in to a life-like mannequin with a shotgun in his hand Well I jumped out my skin and she just pushed him in and as we ran from consequence I kissed her up against the barbed wire fence ‘Cause buttercup oh buttercup we’re coming up oh buttercup oh buttercup we’re coming up oh buttercup yeah buttercup we’re coming up buttercup oh yeah buttercup we’re coming up… we’re coming up buttercup oh buttercup we’re coming up ‘Cause the Itchen runs from Cheriton into the big blue sea at Southampton waters England’s borders and where the BNP will have us cordon off our neighbours will have us cordon off our friends oh but for me and my lover it’s just another barbed wire fence and another and another and another! Oh buttercup yeah buttercup we’re coming up ah buttercup yeah buttercup we’re coming up yeah buttercup oh buttercup we’re coming up ooh buttercup oh buttercup we’re coming up we’re coming up we’re coming up we’re coming up
2.	Full Metal Jacket 03:58 video	lyrics	buy track
I have travelled land and sea with this bullet between my teeth To give you back the hell you’ve given me See how far I’ve come to give you some Of this little lick of lightning on the tip of my tongue I’ve ridden bareback through a blizzard of sand Had a great white eating out the palm of my hand so please! I’ve turned every stone and every autumn leaf With a full metal jacket between my teeth I’ve drunk the lizard's blood of a medicine man (hey hey) And I’ve held this feeling off for just as long as I can (hey hey) But now here I am I have travelled land and sea to give you back the hell you’ve given me I’ve eaten in a cell and in the presence of kings Found mountains of nothing are incredible things I’ve watched the night sky from the Cairo tower Where I scrubbed myself clean in a meteor shower to see If I could cleanse myself of all that’s been But I still couldn’t get you out from under my skin So I spent some time in the eye of a storm (hey hey) Working for a family living in a honey bee swarm (hey hey) I have travelled land and sea to give you back the hell You’ve given me (hey hey) You’ve given me (hey hey) But every time the tightrope slacks You come rushing back Ah I hate it how you do that And now they tell me I should be letting it go Letting you deal the final blow But I’m tired of them telling me so ‘Cause I’m tired of taking the hell you’ve given me wherever I go How about you reap what you sow? They tell you you reap what you sow ‘Cause I’ve travelled land and sea Mountain-high and river deep To give you back the hell you’ve given me But when I go to speak With a full metal jacket between my teeth I see That all the while it's me it's been killing And I spit it out like a broken filling And I turn on my heels and I tell you instead ‘You’re so much smaller in life than you are in my head!’ Now I’ve travelled land and sea To give you back the hell You’ve given me Signed sealed delivered From now on it will be all down river As I travel land and sea I give you back the Hell You’ve given me
3.	Captured 04:03	lyrics	buy track
Would you look at those headlines crying out for attention Oh yeah everythings a thriller everyones a killer when you’re looking in two dimensions And on paper we’re a failure but in the flesh we are all kings I’m ruler of all that lies within these layers upon layers of skin And even when my eyes are closed I am not in darkness ah ah for the mind is a tardis And this door opens to a memory plays it back in slow motion This one opens to a blank canvas this one opens out onto the ocean So put down the camera no moment will be captured Not every sentence needs a hammer not every protest has a banner So don’t give me who you’re trying to be when I like the one you’re trying to hide The one that gets me every time I’m watching out the corner of my eye And I guess that’s why the stillness sounds above the words being said I know the loudest noise I can make in my chest is no match for the voice in our heads that says “How do you live inside a moment when it ceases as soon as it comes? oh ah ah when It’s over before it's begun? And how come those mountains paths we swore would never let us pass are these grains of sand here in our hands? Looks like nothing here was built to last” So put down the camera no moment will be captured Not every sentence needs a hammer not every protest has a banner Has fear of dying become the disease? Is it still alright just to live and breathe? ‘cause If you believe what you read then every foot step climbs a ladder every photo needs to flatter every moment needs to matter every protest needs a banner Well let's lay out every coin we’ve got you know every slot is a ballot box ah ah And see Romina Ashrafi is history but show me where's the dot on the line when in defense of her dignity she stood up to her father for the first time? See resistance lurks beneath the surface and it barely gets a mention but when it catches it burns like a furnace so you wanna be paying attention Put down the camera no moment will be captured not every sentence needs a hammer not every protest has a banner not every footstep climbs a ladder not every protest has a banner
4.	Brighton Stones 04:33	lyrics	buy track
Kneeling on my skin and bones I’m seeing in the night on the Brighton stones I beg the sky for my life I call up from the shore until there is no more no more that I can give all there is is all there is At dusk I watch the starlings play charades against the sky First they are an eel then they are a kite And then they are a wave and then they are a whale Yeah next they are a typhoon and then they are a sail And they turn into the tide and they sail out of sight and leave behind the Brighton stones where I beg the sky for my life ‘Cause when you're out there living you don't know just how much you want to live It’s only when your body’s giving in do you know how much more you have to give But all there is is all there is I close my eyes and make a wish But I don't suppose I can dream up anything as colourful as this All that is is vivid more vivid than a dream And while it is just what it is it isn’t always what it seems So ride it like a wave you gotta ride it like a whale Sometimes it is a typhoon sometimes it is a sail Sometimes it is a love heart sometimes it is a tear sometimes it is a puff of smoke and then it disappears So close your eyes and make a wish but don't look away too long ‘cause all there is is all there is in a moment then it’s gone And I‘d say nothing is forever but maybe nothing really is Maybe nothing is forever quite like nothing is But if anything’s for certain it's that nothing ever is and since everythings in motion and all there is is all there is Maybe next I'll be a wave maybe next I'll be a whale yeah next I'll be a typhoon and then I'll be a sail Maybe then I'll be a starling shape shifting in the sky high above the Brighton stones where I begged the sky for my life
5.	Watercolour 04:38	lyrics	buy track
Too often moved too forgiving could never be accused of not ever showing willing But this is no place for a heart its colours overspilling pack them all up with the stars and the dying art of living Life sits here getting shorter as my paintbrush sits in water the ancient sunken shipwreck of some used to be explorer And lifeless is the water in which the paintbrush steeps in its snow globe of a jam jar in to which each colour leaks In to a watercolour sky on a watercolour night I cry watercolour tears from my watercolour eye Lying in the still my colours weep as willows greyish green and pale blue down my cheek and paint my pillow Would you look at the pounce ready energy of that cat amongst the tall grass ? All tail and arse Head down back arched it teases to the last and seizing its moment it looks up from its dance to ask “Where is the orange flame in my eye? that lightning yellow it’s brilliant surprise? Oh starry starry night where are you taking all the light? Now look me in my watercolour eye and tell me did you really fight it? i mean did you really try?!” I grieve chasing falling leaves saying what you really mean and and other dying breeds And how can I keep this colour in my cheeks when nobody bleeds as deep a red as me? Too often moved too forgiving could never be accused of not ever showing willing But this is no place for a heart its colours overspilling pack them all up with the stars and the dying art of living
6.	People People 05:43 video	lyrics	buy track
I bumped into friend of mine in the council line back in spring time she said “I didn’t think I’d see you here didn’t I hear you were hitting the big time?” And heads turned to faces as she said “we heard you were going places. Does Emma know you’re back in town? she’s not herself when you’re not around” And I feel the urgency like a push on a beat to be who she wants me to be though I’m dead on my feet And I see Orion rising and drawing his bow over Cannery Row And I feel like crying ‘cause I’m tired and laughing cause I’m not alone I feel like crying ‘cause I’m tired and laughing cause I’m not alone Tell Emma I’m home dry that I’ll come by soon enough and give her my love tell her my minds made up Tell Emma I’m home dry that I’ll come by soon enough and give her my love We were still waiting in the council queue when I asked her “So what's new with you?” she said “I’m still doing the radio show but I’m down on my luck if you really wanna know I had a boyfriend half Jamaican he was deported all very hush hush He was born here worked as a labourer received a letter… something about Windrush Now I have a boyfriend in Jamaica and his baby in my arms and I feel like crying ‘cause I’m tired and laughing ‘cause I’m not alone. I feel like crying ‘cause I’m tired and laughing ‘cause I’m not alone” I said “Look at us all standing in queue! Don’t they know who they’re talking to? We are many and they are few and I wouldn’t let it get the best of you Don’t you forget we’ve come this far Don’t forget who we are! We are The People people We are The People people We are The People people and we are the people people” She strokes the forehead of her infant and lays a finger on the fence It gives a little and she turns to me and says “...It’s good to see you my friend we’re not as young as we were then... could we do it all again? It’s good to see you my friend We’re not as young as we were then... Could we do it all again?” And I said “Remember when Emma climbed the roof top to stop the diggers? and those policemen chased her all night around the chimneys in a cherry picker? And we cheered her on from the rigging handcuffed and singing… “Singing voices rising higher Weave a dove into the wire In our hearts a blazing fire” (We are the people people) “Singing voices rising higher Weave a dove into the wire In our hearts a blazing fire” Tell Emma I’m home dry that I’ll come by soon enough and give her my love tell her my minds made up Tell Emma I’m home dry that I’ll come by soon enough and give her my love And then meet me on Friday behind the Costa that used to be the Library The girl that works there says it’s likely that if I ask nicely she can get keys from the Old Town Hall for the empty municipal swimming pool Put out a call to Paddy and Maria tell them ‘Tea urn. And a speaker’ ‘Cause this is what we call divide and rule Maybe you want less and I want more maybe you are against what I am for But before we take our sides let’s ask each other why We try and squeeze inside these boxes that don’t fit us right When we could stand our ground let them know we won’t be pushed around We could take up space and let them know who owns this place Yeah let’em know who’s who Let’em know who they’re talking to We are many and they are few and I wouldn’t let it get the best of you Don’t you forget we’ve come this far Don’t forget who we are We are The People people We are The People people We are The People people and we are the people people “Singing voices, rising higher Weave a dove into the wire Singing voices, rising higher Weave a dove into the wire Singing voices, rising higher Weave a dove into the wire”
7.	Here Comes Your Song 08:55	lyrics	buy track
They’re eyeing me these hammers and strings like ‘well where the hell have you been?’ And last night I had a dream that I was making a machine that it was really something And a surge of adrenaline comes kicking in ‘Cause here comes your song here comes your song here comes your song here comes your song And the good thing about this song is there’s very little it relies upon This one’s fresh out the factory doesn’t take battery No this song radiates like it was infrared and automatically plays itself inside of your actual head whenever you’re alone and feeling blue So right on cue Here comes your song Here comes your song Here comes your song Here comes your song And it’s conducted to lift you to ground you Instructed to wrap itself around you to lift you to ground you Instructed to wrap itself around you ‘Cause I wish I could have been that extra skin Wish I could have fought back the unkindness and kept it from going in Easier than knowing all I can do is hold you Somewhere in the future that’s somewhere in the background as the past engulfs you And along that old mistrust holds strong Sitting right there on your shoulder waiting to say “I told you she’d go wrong” But you see a song is a string of events that must be enacted in sequence Fall roughly at the right time and in the right place or risk an irretrievable fall from grace See even a sound wave has a void to face ‘cause between the notes there’s always the space in which ten untrained fingers take ten little leaps of faith ... or is it eight? between the black and the white there is always the grey And I don’t suppose I’m gonna play this right but I’m gonna play it anyway ‘Cause it’s like we say ‘it's them not you that was the weaker’ and I’m willing to bet they’re not perfect either So what d’you say we give this all the middle finger? And you march yourself right up to that speaker and you go get ‘em And that’s right darlin yeah you tell em… That here comes your song That here comes your song That here comes your song That here comes your song That its your name it’s calling And it wants to dance with you ‘til morning Here comes your… Here comes your song! And its programmed to keep you from falling and it wants to dance with you ‘til morning See what i’m trying to say is that I’ve got you but if you’re wanna worry yourself away then I can’t stop you But incase you forget I’ve built this to remind you and incase you lose yourself in the dark I’ve built this to find you So when you’ve punished yourself for everything you ever did and set fire in your head to all the hopes you had but hid when you were just a kid To everything and everyone you ever loved but left in your quest to go quietly missing Presumed dead I guess And when you’re finally satisfied that you’re barely alive and you’re left to quietly slip away safe in the knowledge that everybody else was saved And here in this hell only you and the pain must remain lying there entangled like a pair of rags in the rain And that’s how it ends That’s the story of you as fate intends and it’s all going perfectly to plan Except from that strange sound you can hear just above the ringing in your ears There it is again shifting rippling raising up like a mast A deliberate sound like footsteps on glass And there bold as brass and clutching this message Undeterred it emerges from the wreckage and says “I’m looking for Alison. Has anybody seen Alison? I’m looking for Alison. Has anybody seen Alison? I’m looking for Alison. Does anybody know Alison?” And in disbelief you raise your head a fraction from the curb to watch it offer you the love you’d told yourself you didn’t deserve And maybe that’s when you’ll remember me lying here next to you wishing I could just shake you and shake you and break through that shatter proof glass you keep me behind go back in time and give those mother fuckers a piece of my mind But I know I can’t and I know you won’t and it just lifts you up to a kind of chest for you to rest your your head upon and you ask it “who are you? what planet are you from?” And it says “Oh you know me Alison. Come on. I’m your song! I’m your song! Yeah I’m your… Yeah I’m your song. And now that i’ve found you. I’m gonna wrap myself around you”.
8.	Thompson 05:11 video	lyrics	buy track
I woke this morning full of this song So I’m writing it watching you sleep on and on ‘Cause there’s more to this now than just turning me on And I need you to be strong Thompson Cause when I ask you “is this love?” You say “has it ever been anything but?” But by now I know you well enough To know that you're dangerous And Thompson you gotta know me by now I'm a whole in the ground Im a rain cloud See even now I'm looking around for a way out Can you hear me? No? Can you hear me now? Hold me in the air put me to your mouth What about now? No? Sometimes better when I go and Stand in the cold with my head out of the window I can hear you just about but I can’t understand Pull your heart from your chest and bring it as close as you can Closer come on closer still Oh come on I’ll come in from the window sill I’m listening No man is an island Hold me to your lungs and scream relief into the silence Is there anybody out there? Are you the one? Thompson I awoke in the night To find that I need you on side That I need you more than I realised More than I care to admit sometimes ‘Cause last night you and a pumped up moon Collapsed down on my chest like a burst balloon And while for me it's a half light that fills the room Seems like wherever you are it rains diamonds on neptune Asleep in your cave at the ends of the ocean Where even the waves turn in all backwards and broken And from deep in your mouth with it’s jaw dropped open Only breaths come and go like words unspoken And for a moment you stir But for only a moment And then you’re gone in a beat The spell unbroken And left here afraid of the dark you’ve chosen I cram it all into words until the vowels split open And it’s like I'm holding on a line Calling into a delay watching it all just getting Further and further away Is there anybody out there? Are you the one? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? I woke this morning full of this song So I’m writing it watching you sleep on and on ‘Cause there’s more to this now than just turning me on And I just needed to tell someone Copyright Ruth Theodore 2020
9.	Hold On Me 04:09	lyrics	buy track
I thought I’d be free the day you emptied your arms of me but you see I’m starting to suppose that you never let me go ‘Cause I’ve been in the throws of a sound wave now i’m coming up to breathe and It looks like you’ve always been right always right about me Looks like you've always been right always right about me That I don't want to be saved! nah ‘cause I’m in love with the waves And I've kept you waiting too long And you can be sure that I’ll come back for more ‘cause if I am a wave well then you must be my shore ‘Cause for what feels to me like an eternity you’ve had your hold on me yeah you’ve had your hold on me You’re just a part of me like those marks you leave when you’ve had a hold of me when you’ve had a hold on me I go down to the sea and let it wash over me I don’t know why but I feel the pull of the tide stronger on when I’m on my own So when I say ‘the armor is caving in and becoming bone’ It’s just my way of saying I’m nearly ready to come home It’s just my way of saying I’m nearly ready to come home ‘Cause for what feels to me like an eternity you’ve had your hold on me yeah you’ve had your hold on me You know I’ve starting to believe I have the marks you leave written all over me yeah written all over me So come on take a hold Come on take a hold Won’t you come on and get me? or just let me let me let me Let me go! ‘Cause you have your hold yeah you have your hold on me You have your hold on me You have your hold on me You have your hold on me You have your hold on me You have your hold

about

Highly anticipated new release from Ruth Theodore.

credits

released May 3, 2024

Produced by Ruth Theodore, Mathias Künzli, and Todd Sickafoose

All songs written and performed by Ruth Theodore on guitars and piano.

Basses, muted piano, additional instruments by Todd Sickafoose Drums and percussion by Mathias Künzli
Recorded and mixed at Spillway Sound, West Hurley, NY, USA by Eli Crews Mastered By Alan Douche at WWSM, NY.

People People lyrics by Ruth Theodore & Peggy Seeger
© Harmony Music Ltd

Additional vocal arrangements by Ruth Theodore
Backing Vocals by Abdul Shyllon, Jabez Walsh and Melody Brooks Recorded at 200b Osborne, Forest Gate, London, UK

Additional Drums/Percussion arrangements by Mathias Künzli Recorded at Summercamp West Studios, Los Angeles, CA, USA

Additional keys and various sound arrangements by Todd Sickafoose Recorded at Earycanal, Eugene, OR, USA

Synths, marimba, rhodes and theremin by Brian Marsella Recorded at Red Palace Studios , New Jersey, NY, USA

Barbed Wire Fence additional rhodes by Jonathan Fashole-Luke. Recorded in Southampton, UK.

String and brass arrangements by Ruth Theodore and Mathias Künzli Violin and Viola: Lily Holgate
Recorded at Summercamp Studios, Brooklyn, NY, USA

Cello: Yair Evnine
Recorded at Lethe Lounge, Manhattan, NY, USA
Engineered by Mark Ettinger

Trombones: Tim Vaughn

Murmuration photograph by Fiona Elisabeth Exon

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about

Ruth Theodore UK

'Original folk voice' Ruth Theodore signed to Righteous Babe Records USA, is described as 'one of the UK's most exciting artists'.
Her highly acclaimed new release is the fruits of another collaboration with Tony and Grammy award winning US bassist/producer Todd Sickafoose and percussionist Mathias Kunzli.

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Recommendations

shows

May 6

Hyde Tavern

Winchester, UK
May 7

The Folklore Rooms

Brighton, UK
May 8

The Water Rats

London, UK
May 23

Cafe Wha?

New York (NYC), NY
May 26

Blue Portland Maine

Portland, ME
May 28

Club Passim

Cambridge, MA

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Ruth Theodore recommends:

Tiny Resistors
by Todd Sickafoose

Amazing textures as always! I love the materials Todd can cunjure in my head out of literally thin air. Ruth Theodore
go to album
Educated Guess
by Ani DiFranco

I guess I love that this is self produced and has some off the wall production ideas. I hear someone expressing ideas quite purely and I love that. Ruth Theodore
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I love these alternative versions of the 'Murmuration' songs. The stripped down instrumentation creates an intimite vibe, while the poem intertwines them into a concept-like album. As a result, this is a new album that stands out on its own and that is more than just a complement to 'Murmuration'. 'Ordinary' already was a beautiful song, yet 'Extraordinary' adds something extra for me. And because the piano intro somehow calls up some recognition. Another beautiful album by Emily Barker! rbergman
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I Am I Am

by Ruth Theodore

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